I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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