I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
