hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
