Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
