Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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