Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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