and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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