if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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