So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
