It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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