I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
