Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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