So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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