Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
