Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you had me at cake vodka
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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