I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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