her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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