her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
