I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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