i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
