It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
