I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
