I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
