I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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