I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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