I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
