we have officially lost it.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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