Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
