I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
