you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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