I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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