If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
