Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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