i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
