covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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