'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
