you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
