take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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