If that was your dad, he is hot
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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