Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
