I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
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Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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