dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
