highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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