i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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