I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
