I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
