well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
