I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
