when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
