ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
