Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
