I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
