Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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