wat bout pragnant strippers??
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize