He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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