Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
