so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
