they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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