No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
