thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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