dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
