His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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