i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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