There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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